I'm a slacker.....

I always have the best of intentions, but it all goes back to the time conundrum I consistently find myself in. I have gotten a few fantastic quotes recently that once again I am checking myself for tracking chips to see if someone besides myself is in my head.....

"Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

For me this means faith in people and comes at a time where I was givin a proposition to see someone from my past. My far away past, but also the reason I am here today. Confused yet? It is confusing and personal, but I suppose the time has come to see this person and see if there is a chance in the land that there is a relationship to be had. To all those really trying hard to think......not an exboyfriend or friend for that matter. A person that played a major part in my life until about half way through and then they were gone. The reasons and situations surrounding the dissappearance are there and each party holds different reasons for the way they have handled it. Mystery person in my early life taught me skills, stubborness, and always showed love. Years after and only in their absense showed me strength, independence, and appreciation for those around me that always have and always will be behind me. There are a lot of negatives learned and lived too, but with my new positive lease on life the last year or 2, I find it hard to dwell on those moments. My anger has turned to pity for what this person has missed, for the lonliness they must feel on the holidays, and the lack of familial relationships they have retained. People who have the ability to "dissappear" often repeat actions, which this person has also done. The others have come to terms with this and have lived better lives for it. For me I guess there is a little more closure needed. To be honest, I don't know if its closure or the glory of "you were wrong about me and everything you think about my life." I love hearing stories of people that thought they knew me and then get to know me. So as for this person, we shall see.....no time no place set, but I think it is in the cards for me and I think its time. So on all this I suppose the next quote sums it up nicely.....(I told you these people are following me!)

"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. "
— James Thurber

If we are aware of others strengths and weaknesses, we know what to expect and will never be dissappointed because even if you know whats coming isn't what you want, you expected it, and were prepared for it.